I am lacking in motivation lately, so I did something really simple…

I definitely made a sticker chart! I’m one of those people that will blatantly ignore online tracking systems, but put something on my closet door?! Forget about it!

I’ve got each date for the next 60 days (til December 20th) on here, with a box for each. I get up to 4 stickers a day. Here’s the key:

Red = vitamins taken that day – salmon liver oil, multivitamin, cinnamon extract, folic acid, B50 and, while not a vitamin, metformin.

Blue = Water intake was at least 8 cups/2L

Green = Food was on track – between 1900 and 2200 calories

Silver = 30 minute workout

Gold = 1 hour workout

I’m so excited to share my progress. 🙂

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I’m happy.

Yes, my last post was all sad because of my friend’s husband’s passing, but… it’s actually helped me. HELL, I feel twisted even THINKING that, let alone typing it – so let me explain:

We found out that her husband’s cause of death was a pulmonary embolism, which was brought on by deep vein thrombosis  – a blood clot. In my little pea brain, a switch was thrown. I swear there was screaming inside my head at the height of this switch taking a flip – to the effect of “Wow, this could be you”. Seriously. I spend all day on my butt in bed. How pathetic is that? I sit in bed with my laptop and my cat – watch tv, chat on the phone and that’s all I do. Up til now, I thought I deserved a medal for doing a few loads of laundry. I don’t have a job – doing laundry should be my job!

So I’ve had this shift in thinking that happened right before my last post – I’ll do more. Boy, have I ever. Whereas we’re used to eating out a meal once a day, on Friday? I COOKED ALL THREE MEALS! I got up, made porridge for the fiance and I. For lunch I made fish, wild rice and salad. For dinner, I made turkey meatball whole wheat spaghetti with side salads. On Saturday, I baked and did shopping at the farmer’s market. I’ve always said how I wished I could afford to shop there, to support local agriculture, blah blah blah. SO I DID IT. Tonight, I roasted a turkey breast with olive oil and lemon rind – served it with mashed roasted sweet potatoes and asparagus with side salads.

I am so freaking excited, y’all. I feel brand new.

“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you”

-Maori Proverb

Pardon my navel-gazing, folks. This will be about a little more than weight loss today. One of my good online friends lost her husband yesterday morning in a tragic way, in a way that wasn’t forseeable and just plain not fair. This friend, a fellow knitter, had endured a miscarriage all but a few months ago and now this. So incredibly sad. I cried and cried when I woke up to find out the news. I had taken a midday nap and my last tweet was “He’ll be okay”, as she had tweeted that the paramedics were there and that he wasn’t breathing. OF COURSE I thought he’d be okay! Who thinks that at 37 years old your husband is going to drop dead from a suspected heart attack? Not me! I woke up and people were talking about memorial funds and how she’s coping and it’s all just surreal.

It also has me thinking – is this going to be me in 10 years time? Have I not cared for my body SO MUCH that my body is going to give up way before its time and that’ll be it? I’m inspired. I don’t want to leave my partner and stepkids alone in 10 years time. I don’t want to become diabetic and be dependent on drugs for the health of my body. I want to be able to run and play effortlessly, not be winded after a couple of steps, or by sitting up.

I’m going to do this. I’ll post on my progress, as I’m going computer-free til Sunday. Wish me luck! 😉

So as soon as I commit to strengthen my resolve and get back into things full swing, what happens? I get sick! Again! Screw you, universe. 😦

I may as well share this amazing recipe with you. According to the SparkPeople recipe builder, I’ve included the nutritional information as well. Enjoy!

Sara’s Amazing Apple Walnut Muffins

  • 1.5 cups whole wheat flour
  • 0.5 cup  buckwheat flour
  • 0.5 cup sugar (or Splenda baking blend)
  • 1 tbsp baking powder
  • 0.25 tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp cocoa powder (may omit)
  • 0.75 cup water
  • 0.25 cup margarine or butter – melted (or veg oil)
  • 1 egg
  • 0.5 cup walnuts, chopped
  • 1 large sweet apple, diced

Preheat oven tot 400° F. Line 18 muffin cups with paper liners, or spray each lightly with cooking spray.

Mix flours, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in large bowl until well-mixed. Stir in water, butter(oil), and egg until JUST blended. Stir in walnuts and apple. Fill cups 2/3 full.

Bake 20-25 minutes, or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes before removing from pan.

Nutritional information:

Calories: 127; Fat; 5g; Carbs; 17.6; Dietary Fiber: 2g; Protein: 2.5g

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VOILA! I hope you enjoy the first recipe I’m sharing with the bloggety blog blog. I plan on adding a lot more, as we’re trying to eat at home ALL THE TIME NOW!

In the past two weeks, I’ve thought about posting every single day, but didn’t until right now (at 5:05 am, for what it’s worth).

I “fell off the wagon”, so to speak. I’m very ill and have been for the past three days. I know, three days, right? So what about the other 10 that you didn’t post, Sara?

I had a mini-breakdown and realized that I’m going to have to track calories. As much as I believe that I know what I’m doing, I feel like it’s a good idea to go back to the basics: Track calories, move every day, get enough water/sleep and take my vitamins.

Simple, right?

We’ll see how it goes at the end of the day today…

I’m considering going back on Weight Watchers, but I don’t know. Right now it’s a $12/wk promotion, but I keep thinking – hey, I’ll just use Sparkpeople and put the $48/month towards nutritious foods. Who knows.

Thanks for reading, readers! I appreciate each and every one of you. 🙂

362.8!!

I’m absolutely stunned at this week’s weigh-in – a loss of 1.2. After my first fitness class last Wednesday, I felt like my knees were shattering! I now know that the hot tub soak after the class was one of the worst things I could have done after vigorously working out.

Last night was my second fitness class and wow – it was a little bit more difficult! And just to prove it’s not all in my head, I asked the instructor and she confirmed that she had stepped it up the tiniest bit. Whew. I’m glad I even went to the class last night, as I was sitting at home til 6pm (it starts at 6:15), convincing myself that I hated it.

SERIOUSLY, WTF? I don’t hate that class at ALL – I love it! The instructor is positive, the women that take the class with me are friendly, I sweat my fool butt off – what’s not to love?! So, I went and enjoyed it. I walked back from working out and stopped at my favourite coffee shop to get myself a drink – just a sugar-free raspberry-lime iced tea. Mmm. When I got home, I was motivated enough to do the dishes from the night before, wash down the kitchen surfaces, sweep and take out the trash. BOOYAH!

I did find that during the class I was getting a bit dizzy, and I’m going to chalk that up to not having enough to eat beforehand. Seriously, a bar of chocolate? Not good fuel for the job!

Oh, and in the spirit of helping each other – here’s a bloghop! Go, add yourself and read and comment on people’s blogs, mmkay?

How’s yours?

I asked some friends the other day what their relationship with food was like when they were little. Specifically, I asked “Were any of you sent to bed without food if you were misbehaving?”

Some friends were absolutely shocked that it was even something that someone’s parent would do! Yes, my mother would often send me to bed without my dinner if I had been in any way misbehaving before the meal was served. We were dirtpoor, and I suppose it seemed like the best punishment to her, since then she could save the food for someone that was “more grateful”. Yeah. I know.

-warning: this next section has frank discussion about self-injuring and eating disordered behaviour –

When I moved to live with my Dad at 11 years old, I displayed symptoms of compulsive overeating right away. I wasn’t used to that much food being around and I suppose in my pre-adolescent mind, I had better eat ALL THE FOOD before it got taken away or it ran out.  That lasted about a month and instead of talking to me about it, my stepmom, in her infinite wisdom, decided to put a padlock on the cupboard with most of the food in it. I remember self-injuring because it was all I could do to take my mind off of eating. One day I took a hammer to the cupboard and binged on everything inside, including a 4 pack of Saltines. My parents weren’t impressed, and I can’t remember what happened after that, but my disordered behaviour settled after that.

I was watching “X-Weighted” a few nights ago, and it showed a parent doing the padlock thing on their Snack Cupboard and I was appalled. I could NOT imagine doing that to my three young stepdaughters and it hit me – I broke the cycle. A lot of the time, I find that the abused becomes the Abuser. For the first little while after becoming Stepmom, I was adamant that the girls finish what I had served them, and if they refused, I would tell them to go to their room until they ate it all. I did some soul-searching and decided that no good could come of that mindset other than messing up their relationship with food. Sure, I don’t let them eat pb&j exclusively, but now I’m way more relaxed.

So how about you?